The ScooterBlog

So I saw this coming a mile away, and so it was.

I’m diverted (and rightfully so, not like for hours, but for minutes) to the computer project, out in the plant talking to our general manager, and Larry ends up getting worried to the point of screaming over the Intercom for me to come in the office and si all flustered ad bothered about something I did … right! Anyways, this was the case on Wednesday too.

Oh yes, and now it’s Wednesday …. and it’s worse. He’s in “unapproachable” form right now. But, he did get a lot better, so it ended up being ok.

But all that said, this is going to be a continuing theme … so if I bitch about it here, you know it’s coming!

So I understand the need to close schools for presidential elections: you need more polling booths, and what more neutral place to put polling booths then schools. Of course, let’s throw out the notion of neutrality immediately, considering each party has “challengers” at the polling stations .. great, so you can go to vote and get bullied to see if your registration is valid.

So anyways, it’s occurred to be that kids get school off on a day that the adults have to do all the work. This is totally wrong so it seems. The way it SHOULD be is that we lock the kids into schools to learn all day (and learn how to vote), and then the adults take a day off! Stock markets shut down, banks close, post offices close, yes, even video game stores close …. it would be like Christmas, so I’m sorry, Ameristop, you have to stay open.

Now, that brings up the thought of WHERE these votes would be cast …. simple. EMPTY K-MART STORES! I mean, there’s hundreds of them, and in towns without these, I’m sure there’s an Ames, or a Zayre, or a Wal-Mart that moved across the street. For smaller towns, you can use the buildings that were emptied when Wal-Mart moved in, you all have them!

Now for those downtowners, we’ll also be opening all the major sports stadiums for nice big places to play. I mean, the NHL’ s not using them, and I WISH the NBA wasn’t going to start, the NFL only plays on Sundays, and baseball is done with. Perfect! There are some extra things we’ll allow to aphease certain municipalities:

* Boston fans will be able to vote at Fenway Park … what better place to start a new curse then at a place where a curse just ended! (Oh! Yeah! There’s my political “dig” this year, enjoy it!) Republicans who feel pressured here can vote at the Fleet Center, cause no good sports team will be using it this season.

* Chicago fans will be able to take their pets to the voting booths at stadiums for an extra ballot! Cause remember: In Chicago, if you can’t vote once, vote twice!

* Cincinnati voters at Paul Brown Stadium will not have their votes recounted if the need arises, due to the thought that the voters “were not aligned correctly, could not read the ballots, and did not excecute properly.” This will be waived should the Bengals lose a night game, or have a winning season … so in other words, never.

I’m Scott Vieth, and I approve this satire!